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You're what you own.
It's not so perfect everyday.


So it's true my words are contrived
I tell lies just to get into your mind

Beauty makes her eyes glow.
Imitations of love.
Sweet music and hidden grace.


Unspoken,

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credits,

Designer: JeSsie
Basecode: tm
Thursday, September 4, 2008

Why me? Why , me?
Maybe in time to come I will delete this post. But for now, I can't help it.

Wherever did that phrase come from? You can never be satisfied with what you have so make do with whatever you possess. I'd say bullshit.
Hold up... After some thoughts, MAYBE.

Deep within me I know , I would be damn well satisfied if I were granted what I'd always always yearned for. Things don't come easy , why must it always be ''You're given this now, I'll take that away from you.''

You ask me :''How much you want this? Is it really that important to you? Can it bring you any further in life?Look beyond what you want,maybe other matters could take your mind off this.''
Truth is, I'm too blinded , far too blinded by my deepest desire ,that I'm not giving two cents about what's good around me. I'm losing my focus , jeopardizing my life, my own life, when it is what I'm existing for.

I shouldn't be deprived of this just yet. Why , why me?Because of this. I shy away from opportunities , I'm not even pragmatic when it comes to decisions I have to make , always giving way to this obstacle. I sulk at the dinner table. I'm revolving too much around what I lack, far too much, things could have been better. I can perform better.

I have always wanted to ask people around me: '' Would you rather live ten years lesser but yet a very happy and fulfilling life OR ten years more but you're not really enjoying your entire life? ''
I'd forgo living ten years more.
Then again, what makes me happy?

Give me what I deserve.
Is it society's expectations of an individual or is it just mine alone??
I'm breaking under pressure.

4:06 AM